Normative: Draft

Who likes super short stories (aka flash fiction), I do! This is what happens when you take thoughts from Soc class, and turn them into a story.

Normative

by Marshall Cain

I should notice her first, no matter what. I should approach her. I should show interest in her, I shouldn't show too much interest in her. I shouldn't show interest in her friends. I should make eye contact with her, be sure she knows I'm paying attention. I shouldn't stare at her. I shouldn't stare at her breast. I shouldn't stare at her cleavage. I should make conversation. I should be sure to ask her what she does, and how she likes it. I shouldn't want to know where she lives. I shouldn't know where she lives. I should pay attention to her line of conversation. I should laugh at her jokes. I should try to seem witty. I shouldn't try to be raunchy, unless she likes that. I should find out if she likes that. I shouldn't seem interested in sex with her, or was that I should seem interested in sex with her? I shouldn't be interested in sex with her. I shouldn't touch her, not here on the floor at least. I should try to touch her. I should touch her in a way she would like. I shouldn't force her to like it. I should get her another drink. I should compliment her hair. I shouldn't stare at her crotch. I should make sure she finishes her drink. I should invite her to my place. I shouldn't take that smile as an answer. I should take her back home now. I shouldn't enjoy this so much. I should make sure she is feeling alright. I shouldn't enjoy this so much.

Deux: Draft

Deux

by Marshall Cain

I couldn't tell you how I got there, sitting scrunched up in that office waiting room. The walls around me went out forever, and there in the center of it all was a desk with a small blond sitting at it. For the last half hour it was me and that blond, me tapping my formal shoes against the tile, her chittering away at her keyboard. We both kept our eyes off the other, and I wracked my brain just wondering what I was doing.

This interview was a waste of time. I didn't even know what the job was, what this company did. These days though, when you get a call back for a job interview, you pick up another copy of your resume, put on your best slacks, and get your ass to that office. I didn't even remember applying, but between Monster.com and other hiring sites, that didn't mean anything.

Next to the blond, at the desk, along the far off walls, there was a door. It was a big double door, the sort of door that belonged to someone important. The sort of person who could change my life with the amount of money they carried in their pocket. When I told the secretary what I was here for I tried to take a peek at the door. Yet I realized that it had no name on it, simply a number, two.

“Mrs. Dupont will see you now.”

The blond spoke to me, but by the time I looked away from my own lap and back at her, she was back to watching her computer screen. I walked to the door, my hand on its long metallic handle, and gave one last look at the secretary. She didn't return it. So I swallowed my worries, and peeked my head past the door.

“Come on in, make yourself comfortable.” Said a woman in a welcoming voice.

I turned my head and saw a woman's back, a tan business suit that was currently shoving a leather chair in place so I could sit down. With one glance, one wall lined with books and the opposite strangled by a large portrait painting, I could tell that this office belonged to someone beyond me. I stepped in, tucking the door closed behind me while looking everywhere but forward.

I tried to introduce myself, “My name is-”

She cut me off though, “I know what the hell your name is.”

Turning from her labor, Mrs. Dupont stared me straight in the eyes, and I could not help but do the same. She was without a doubt, odd. Maybe it was her name, Dupont, but she wasn't what I was expecting. She looked Asian, Japanese or Korean if I had to make a guess, I was never good at telling the difference. Her face was round and soft, the sort that could speak to a child-like kindness or a woman's intimacy. I could already feel myself sweating. Not that I only went for Asian girls, but there was something in those soft features that kicked me everywhere I needed it. All it ever took was one cute little smile, and I was trapped.

It seemed Dupont wouldn't hear of it. Her lips were locked in a slight downward curl that already made my ears burn with disapproval. She was a serious business woman, no matter how long those legs were beneath her skirt.

“Come on, sit, sit.” She said as she gave the low leather chair a pat. While the words that came out were welcoming, and her black eyes drew me forward, that expression still left me wary. Yet I still sat down, Dupont stepping back and resting herself on the edge of her heavy metal desk. Her legs crossed down at the ankle and she rested on her hands. That brow of hers furrowed.

At first she just watched me, and I squirmed there at the center of the room. I felt like the whole world bending, twisting inwards to focus on me, her eyes were the focus lens.

“You have no idea what we do here, do you?” Said Dupont without warning.

My first reaction was a hardy no, to yell it even. I was going to say anything, but instead her gaze stopped me. So instead I leaned back, gave her the best chill smile I could manage, and tried to seem in control of myself.

“We're a family company,” She said as she stood up from the edge of her desk, “Old as shit too.”

I found a chance to respond, “You've done very well.”

“Thanks, it isn't our fault really.”

I opened my mouth to say “Oh,” but found that nothing came out.

“I don't even know what we do anymore,” She said as she found her way over to the corner of the room. There was a small fridge on a black table. She opened the door, then leaned forward to take a look inside.

Saying I didn't look would be a lie. She definitely left herself hanging back for me to see, pressed there against her desert-skinned skirt. If I had to work with her, there was definitely going to be trouble. This interview was a tease, but between that glare, those legs, I would go insane.

“This family, we've been around for so long that I can't be sure what really happened and what is just conjecture.”

She pulled out a bottle of water and with a strong turn the crackle of the cap coming free was heard through the room. I turned my eyes away from her rear in an attempt to convince myself I'm not that shallow, and more importantly to avoid being caught if she happened to turn around.

My eyes finally passed by the painting on the wall again, and then I couldn't look away. It was large, at least twice my own height and I wasn't exactly short. The borders along the edge were a shimmering gold appearance, yet didn't give me a sensation that someone was showing off. Instead it seemed the portrait couldn't be framed any other way.

It was a figure, sexless and cloaked in a large piece of cloth that covered its body well enough to hide any hint of the body underneath. The cloth was of two colors, split down the center of the head down to between the feet. One side, along the left, was a violent red. The other side was a passive and dark blue. The figure had its hands held out to its sides, held up to present two items in pale fingers. A jagged wooden club on the red side, and a draped piece of cloth on the blue. The painting felt enigmatic, almost mystic. There was something about it that kept my eyes focused, it felt alien, yet familiar. It was just like a painting he would see in some old book, yet not like anything I ever saw before.

“My job,” Mrs. Dupont began, “Is to connect people. To make sure that some little sap like you doesn't blow up our older-than-dirt track record.”

I turned back to find her looking at me, her lips held at the edge of the bottle. She had taken a swig already, yet she didn't look satisfied. She hadn't even told me what she wanted yet, what sort of job this was, yet those glaring black eyes of hers already found me lacking.

“I won't disappoint,” I said in a practiced interview voice. Confident, spunky, yet willing to learn. What else could any employer want, what did she want?

“I know you won't,” Dupont said before taking another drink, “because you're a keeper.”

I couldn't help but smile. She didn't return it.

“Look, I'm going to give you one shot, one question,” Dupont put her bottle down, “you either get it or much more likely, you don't.”

Maybe it was something in her eyes. They were black, yet not dull. I wouldn't say they were shimmering, glowing, anything of the sort. Yet there was something there. It was like a pair of well polished stones, ancient and common, remarkable when you truly stop to consider them.

Dupont pulled up her sleeves, and then turned her head to the painting. Her mouth sat open for a moment, and for a second the picture and her seemed to have a moment. I was afraid that she forgot I was there, she didn't say a word.

“Mrs. Dupont?”

She didn't look at me before she started speaking, “In Anaheim, there's an older woman named Theresa Nguyen that works at a small Chinese food place in a mall. She's only worked there for a year, one of many jobs she has to bounce between to keep her small yet functional apartment. She is 52 years old, she hasn't dated in 5 years, and has two children that don't know how good their life is.”

Dupont spoke like she was reading a script, this was a story she knew. Yet there was something else, a touch of emotion that spoke of something that I didn't think was rehearsed.

“One day a man arrives, one of many that day, to order food. The man is older, White, and his face is covered with the folds and creases of someone who has seen a lot. His name is Duncan, his friends call him Dun. He comes up to order some food, but first he asks Theresa what all comes with the lunch special. She tells him, and Duncan's face curls up with a look of disgust. He tells her, he can't understand a word she said.

“This isn't the first time this has happened to Theresa. She came to America from Vietnam when she was young, yet she spent a lot of her time speaking Vietnamese with her family, her accent was still there. This was something she always stayed aware of when working. Yet this man, who she didn't know, or know the name of, he was just that certain age. Theresa didn't know for sure, but she was right, Duncan was 54. He fought in Vietnam, lost friends in Vietnam, and did things he would tell you he 'wasn't proud of' in Vietnam.

Not that the average Vietnamese immigrant had anything against soldiers of that war, and Theresa didn't either. Yet, not everyone that went to Vietnam was all that kind to the people there. That, with Duncan's comments, and Theresa found herself feeling defensive, offended. She apologized, and repeated herself. She tried to enunciate, and pointed to the dishes she referenced. It was no use, Duncan shook his head, scrunched up his nose, and told her it was okay. Then he walked away.”

Dupont's head turned back to me, then a moment later she seemed to realize where she was.

I realized I was holding my breath, and took in a breath.

“The question,” Dupont started, “How do we resolve the issue, or prevent future cases like Duncan and Theresa?”

The question seemed silly, vague. What was the 'issue', or the 'case'? Yet Dupont looked at me, waiting in silence.

If the issue was the fact that the woman felt offended by the man's reaction, wasn't the issue perceived racism? Maybe the problem is the lost sale, the fact that Theresa's accent pushed away a customer, regardless of the man's possible bias. Yet there was no sign that the man even knew Theresa was Vietnamese, or hated Vietnamese people, Duncan could have been a generous and hard working man, like so many soldiers.

I took another deep breath, and realized my face was getting a little moist. Even if the question was vague, it was deciding my future, my financial livelihood. Plus there was Dupont, what would she want to hear? Was this about the company, about helping their bottom line; or about helping an employee and customer interact better?

Clearing my throat, I looked Dupont in the eyes and said, “Nothing.”

Her eyes widened and she leaned forward, “Excuse me? What did you say?”

My confidence was shot just like that, but I had no choice but to repeat myself, “Nothing, there's nothing we can do. I mean, we don't even know if the man was hard of hearing, or a bigot, and-”

“Exactly,” Dupont said. Her lips curled up, a smooth crease that turned to a soothing smile. I knew I would like it, “Duncan really is a racist, mind you, but thats besides the point.”

She opened a drawer behind her desk, and pulled out a lighter and cigarette.

“So, I got it right?”

She made a shooing motion with her hands, “Come back for work tomorrow morning.”

I rose, and tried to thank her. She turned away from me though, looking once again at the portrait that hung high upon the wall. Her cigarette lit, she let out a puff. So I left, walking to the large double doors out of the room.

As I got out to the secretary desk, the blond was up and moved past me to speak into the office.

“Mrs. Dupont,” She said, “Zed is on the line.”

I didn't stop. My interview was done and I finally had a job. Now I just needed to figure out what my job was.

Ride Astride the Beast: Levels 15-20

Having played through levels 1-15 of World of Warcraft, it would only be fair to finish up the levels I am allotted. Unfortunately, it was discovered that this is only till level 20, and that the adventures of Myrdo would end well before they began. This shorter post will include more about experience with the first dungeons, an important facet of World of Warcraft, and PvP. 

As was revealed before, my experience with MMOs is rather widespread, yet not complete. Dungeons are not foreign, and they tend to follow a simple formula gained from their parent genre, the RPG. You go into some deep dark place, either a cave or taken structure, then you and your allies must stay close together to clear it of its tough enemies and bosses without dieing. In World of Warcraft, this is no different.

In fact, my first experience with one of these dungeons was by mistake, Ragefire chasm. Having leveled up my character to 12, I went into a portal at the bottom of Oggrimar, the capital city for the Horde. When Zigglez and I entered, we saw a worm only a level above us, and we attacked it. The worm killed both of us, only nearly dieing. The room was full of duplicate creatures. We decided that we would come back at level 14, and get revenge on this creature. We did so, again fighting that one worm, and with all of our abilities spent, we killed it. We were proud, and managed to kill 6 more.

When we hit level 15, we entered the dungeon queue to go in as a group. All three of us, since Witrig was with us, entered as DPS characters, or damage per second characters. This dungeon finder is a fun mechanic, it allows players to jump right to a dungeon that they want to do, even if they have never visited it. For those who appreciate the in character elements of a game though, this is a travesty. There is no need for exploration to find a difficult dungeon, they are all listed, and the game will then teleport you halfway across the game world just to go destroy the enemies there, even if you have no idea what story lead your character to be there.

It was done though, and soon our tank, the character meant to take the brunt of the damage, charged into the chasm and started to fight several worms at once. The three of my personal allies all went in to destroy the creatures, and in a flurry of attack animations, they were all dead, the tank barely hurt with the assistance of the healer behind him. Yet, I felt no great satisfaction, I simply stood behind an enemy, and did what I do until they were all laying on the ground so we could collect their loot. Killing them one by one, each of them monstrous villains, was better than this... slaughter. Soon we met bosses, and each fell a slight bit slower. Since ragefire chasm was part of my actual storyline, I knew that these people were part of the burning blade, were demon summoners. We ripped each of the bosses to shreds, and any damage on us was short lived.

I will mention that after this we did Shadowfang keep, a dungeon that has been altered from its original form as a werewolf filled keep. The reason for this is because those werewolves, are now a playable race, so the story has changed to their keep being overrun by the undead. I did not participate in most of this dungeon, because the game is slow to download its elements on my crappy internet connection. It took me at least 8 minutes to load, if not more. Then when I died, as our tank and healer were not nearly as good this time, it took another 15 minutes or more to load the world outside of the dungeon. Both of these places I never visited before, so the game had no reason to think I would need to download them in advance. It was still quite irritating.

As for the other game element, PvP, I cannot say I know why anyone would participate. This was level 19 PvP mind you, very early in the game. Yet, every fight felt like a wandering slaughter. The fight moved from one place to another, both sides flinging status effects at one another like fear and disorient, that eliminated that character from the fight. If the DPS on one side decided a character would be dead, they were then dead very fast. Personally, my Rogue could do very little, as whenever I tried to attack, everyone would turn to me and have me dead in seconds. The PvP in Warhammer Online and other Everquestian MMOs have a similar feel, yet this truly felt like the lowest of the low. 

When I reached level 20, the quest in the game seemed to get a slight bit more engaging. Not that they took any thought, they were still stagnant elements all built to make me fight a different sort of monster. Yet the feel of them because a little more serious, at the very least, as I entered the Ashenvale. 

This all doesn't matter though, as my time as Myrdo is done. The game capped me at level 20, so moving forward would be suicide. So in the meantime, as my trial finishes, I have moved to playing a Dwarf Paladin, for a different view of the situation. The life of Dezuun the Dwarf will need to be covered later though.

Ride Astride the Beast: Levels 1-15

Taking something apart always reveals its flaws, always shows it wanting. Yet it is also important for figuring out exactly what we want, why, and what should be done about it. So WoW will be examined, and the whole of the MMORPG genre will be examined with it. Because when we examine MMOs, we must examine World of Warcraft, or we are skipping a vital step, ignoring the largest sample.

For this two parts will be required. First this post will examine World of Warcraft in particular, in its first few levels and its structure. Then this will be reflected onto all MMOs, since WoW is just the poster-child, not a single child.

The other day I started my game as an Orc rogue. This choice was partly my own feelings toward the best race, and partly going for a standard experience. Orcs are the central race for their side, the center of 'the horde'. Yet rogues are not the standardized MMO experience, that would be Mage or Warrior.

I'll start by saying that the character creator in this game is ancient. Sure WoW came out in 2004, but that is no excuse for having a character creator that is simply a choice between 5 hairstyles, 5 faces, and 4 skin shades. I didn't even need to see another player, and I already felt like I looked exactly like everyone else. This feeling of being 'just one of many' continued as I picked up the same items as my other leather wearing allies, and did the same quest which the dialogue made seem was special for me. 

Now what some may not know is that WoW has had some changes because of the upcoming release of their new expansion, Cataclysm. The content from level 1-60 has been modified, down to how you gain points as you level up. So imagine my surprise when the big change in my starting area was, as I heard another player say, the boars I had to kill constantly were in a pen instead of roaming. This was the same beginning as many other fantasy MMO, killing animals and other pest that every NPC around you should be capable of killing. The game tries to make you sound like the chosen one in dialogue, yet any NPC you see at work is obviously better at their task than you are. Your character has no place in the natural order, which goes directly against the idea of being an RPG. This is likely my number one complaint about WoW, and many MMOs. The only thing about the game that has me 'Role-playing' is that I fill a very specific role in a combat group, either healer, tank, or DPS.

But I will spend more time on that later. The trial of World of Warcraft is in particular, offensive. The game's system because a wasteland, your character a phantom in the middle of real people. This is not a trial, this is a single player game plugged into the middle of a multiplayer game. You cannot talk except in tells to certain people, you cannot trade around gold (this one I understand because of mules), and worst of all you cannot invite people to groups. For a game, a genre, built upon social interaction this trial is built to stop it at every turn.

Which is okay, since these levels are all about being an errand boy of the NPCs around you. From collecting cactus apples to killing scorpions, only half the quest I did ever felt like something important. I dealt with the burning blade, and the Northwatch patrols, but they somehow made these things that should have been profound, feel like dummies assisting in a practice exercise. It doesn't help that your kills are far from permanent, with enemies spawning around you within a minute of you slaughtering them. 

Then an aesthetic complaint, mounts and cities. The wandering hordes of level 80 players should be something awe-inspiring in a game. These people have worked hard, and their characters are the true champions, people doing the most dangerous things for their faction. So it saddened me to see them look like goofballs, riding go-karts and motorcycles while wearing costumes to look like pirates and goblins (note goblins were not playable as of this posting). This makes going through large towns, like Ogrimmar, a bother. Every time I went into town, I was pulled out of the already lofty setting. Not that WoW didn't try hard to pull me out by itself, with a world of blades and spells being back to back with stealth camo generators and rockets to the moon. Blizzard makes it very clear they don't want you to take their setting seriously.

There was a lot of good in here too though. I managed to get a group by playing with a friend with an actual account, so there were times I could actually group up. It was fun filling my role, to manipulate stealth and try to only fight one or two characters at a time. Thorn hill, and other razormane related locations out in the barrens, turned out to be the most enjoyable. There were plenty of enemies to kill, and because of the sparse population, it felt like there was a reason I was out there doing the dirty work, which all related to killing specific targets. There was also a subplot of the survival of the Razormane, as a people, which was of course largely ignored. There was also good fun in Azshara, but that fun was stifled by the fact that none of it felt like it fit in the setting. When I'm walking a mech around to fight people, and then doing quest for hyper-intelligent raptors, I have no idea where I am anymore, or what to expect.

All MMOs tend to have similar problems to this, missions not seeming important, and really slow starts. Yet I would expect better from the big daddy of MMOs, especially with how often it has been changed. In Warhammer online, most races start off fighting legit threats, fighting off a siege or pulling raids against the enemies of your race. City of Heroes starts off being about crime fighting, so its version of fighting boars is fighting basic street criminals who can't do much but try to punch you. 

The biggest problem here is the lack of role-playing, something that plagues just about every MMO except maybe Eve Online. By role-playing I do not mean pretending you are the little girl, I mean having a full investment in your character, and having control over their fate and story. In an MMO, often the quest will dictate to you a story that you may not want to take part in, which is okay if there are multiple paths, or your character has multiple ways to apply him to the problem. If someone tells me to take care of a target, and I can kill or persuade them, stab them to death or blow them up, I have options. In World of Warcraft, as in Warhammer Online and City of Heroes, there are a select few paths of where my character will go. My rogue will be of one of three specializations, and his gear will be to exemplify that, and my quest will all lead to the end game content. In Eve, at a point, the quest don't matter anymore. I can become a miner, I can be a CEO of a business, run special ops, or drive a giant ship into battle. The quest, at least early on, do not try to lead you anywhere. You are simply one of many, and the game knows this. You are not unique, you are not a butterfly, if you don't do this quest then someone else will.

These observations and complaints are all for a specific group of players though. For many, MMOs are about the group combat and challenges. I understand this as a person who played a game built around that from top to bottom, Guild Wars. Yet when I play a game that attempts to have a story, I hope to find enough in there to satiate me, and push me forward. World of Warcraft has failed in that respect, so far.

Ride Astride the Beast: Myrdo's Humble Start

The time was now, and what a time it was. I did not know much, but what I did know was that a great beast struck our borrowed home, that even the barren land we Orcs called home was ruined by the mere stretch of its wings. I also knew that now was my coming of age, and that today I truly joined the horde, no longer young and wet, now a strong young blood. Soon all would know the name of Myrdo Reargut the Rogue, son of Tarn Reargut.

So I struck out to the North, to find the Valley of Trials. There I hoped to put to the test the axiom of my father, That any situation could be solved with the proper application of a blade to a spine. Of course Pa always said it as "Wrench guts, win lots". A practical man my Pa, a trait that won him the nicest grave in town. 

As I trekked the Valley to its center, I crossed the discarded shells of the spoils of others. Spent men, empty carcases. I did not see another Orc there in those fields, but it was obviously many trampled the ground in front of me. So I continued on.

There in the center of the Valley I found my mentor, a small and angry man, prone to repeating himself in identical blood thirsty yells. He seemed keen to make a man of me, and it seemed the best way to do so was to dull my blade against the backs of many beast. Very many beast. First were the boars, doing the work of some peon who looked on in slack toothed glee as I slaughtered his pigs by the dozen. When this was enough, I moved to Scorpids, a beast that before I only killed for desperate meals. Now I made a feast of them, and a river of their venom.

When I found my brow wet with sweat and my stiletto slick with gore, I was finally given a true task. Thazz'rill, or Old Thazzy as he was so often called, told me of a secret. The humans, who we so recently made peace with, were in our lands again. There were scouts from Northwatch scattered across the Valley of Trials, and I was to introduce them all to my Pa's particular creed. The sun set early on many men, some carrying boxes, some carrying boxes with big crosses on them, and others shooting faulty guns, yet each found their death before my blade. Though they cut into me as well, some with blades, some with lead, I found myself invigorated by the exercise. Every time the battle found its climax, so did my being, and I was renewed. 

I was not alone though, and I do not think I could have finished the trials without friends both old and new. Old Zigglez Strumdoom, or just Zigg for short, a true shot who could calm any beast. Witrig Shadeheart, a frightening warlock whose introduction to the hordes forces fell on the same day. Then finally Mahou, or Little Miss Mahou as she preferred to be called, an enigma of a caster, driven yet queer.

Together we flew across the red landscape I called home, and slay anything with a back to prove our worth. At the end Old Thazzy gave me a letter, a recruitment letter to join the Hordes forces defending the barrens. That was a place I knew by name, yet not by sight. Its reputation proceeded it by miles, and my body quaked in fear, while my blade quivered in anticipation.

Ride Astride the Beast: Prologue and Explanation

Among those who call themselves gamers, by social permission or through an equal transcendence in respect of the medium, there is a great distinction between persons. A gamer either plays WoW, that is Blizzard's World of Warcraft, or they do not. At 12 million subscriptions, WoW's numbers outrank all the state of Ohio, and dwarf my own home state. Its players range from the light-hearted social player who takes the game an hour at a time, to the hardened warrior who ranks the in-game raids just below breathing and right above defecation. With its large audience, wide appeal, and addictive framework, WoW is the behemoth of its genre, the kodo beast in the room if you will allow me to get into the mood.

It is also a game that I have never played, and had no intention of playing. Between my arrogance, ignorance, and need to hate on anything more popular than myself, I have never given World of Warcraft its fair chance. I have judged the game on its players, on its culture, and any other object I could use to differentiate it from myself. But as with the motto of the Royal Society, "nullius in verba", I realize now that I should "take no one's word for it". I will confront the beast first hand, and though I dangle myself before its horrid white flesh, my hope is to come out with limbs and sanity intact. This I do out of a sense of duty, pride, and boredom. 

As a man of 23 years, I was playing video games before I stopped wetting the bed. Mario was my babysitter, and Dragon Warrior 3 my tutor. My genre of choice are Strategy and RPGs, the second rather important to this exercise with WoW placing itself within the 'Role-Playing Games' genre with its MMORPG subgenre classification. My MMO credentials run a range of games, recent and old; Ultima Online, City of Heroes, Guild Wars, Warhammer Online, Planetside, Dungeons and Dragons Online, and trials of Lord of the Rings Online, Pirates of the Burning Sea, APB, and the Matrix Online. These games usually have similar buildings blocks, mostly the prototypical MMOs of Ultima Online and Everquest, yet all have their own twist.

To come at this game, I will play as one character for a 10 day trial, possibly more if the game warrants it. I will play with as many friends as I can manage to play with, to create the proper setting and social interaction an MMO requires. My server of choice will be Destromath, my faction Horde. From here I had to make a hard choice, since race and class will definitely warp my playing experience. Yet I have played enough MMOs to know what will interest me, and to know how to overcome in game challenges. So because of this I will play an Orc Rogue, not because this is a particularly good combination, but because it is what interest me.

This page will chronicle my time in the game. I will at times post in character in a fashion I hope will be considered humorous, others I will post out of character to summarize my experiences from that of a man who has played games for over 15 years of his life. I hope to have everyone's support in this, both during and in the aftermath of what will be my greatest flirtation with darkness since I, as a teetotaller, took a shot at a christmas party.

I cross my fingers that this all goes well, for the love of the game, for the sake of fairness, and most of all for the horde.

Digitism (Worldbuilding)

I've been on a quest for modern gods. First with the Virtue project (Lord Uertu stuff on this very blog) and before that I had other ideas that never made their way outside of a writing journal (things based on colors, an old fashioned goddess of creation).

Often my idea isn't to create something that would be useful, simply something that is memorable. If it is only memorable to me, so be it. What I consider memorable though, is likely my main problem. This is not the focus of this post though.

My most recent idea is to create modern gods. I know this has been done before, so originality is not a goal that is set on my plate (thank all that is good). So that requires thinking about what makes a 'god', and why we make them. It seems that gods have likely always served one primary purpose, the purpose of every supernatural, to explain things that cannot be explained. When lightning was still a frightening and terrible thing, there must have been something that set it upon the world, and it had to have a purpose. As people realize that is not the case, guys like Zeus, Odin or Raijin, don't really have the same flare that they used to (sorry guys. Especially you Raijin, love the drums).

Man has now learned so much, only to realize there is still so much we do not know. The things that relate to our lives though, our everyday, it all makes sense to us. To most of us, it makes sense scientifically (even if we don't know the highest details). I am no longer afraid that a demon is going to come sit on my chest, I may have sleep paralysis though, lightning is now a facet of nature and mermaids are just the drunken ramblings of seamen.

So why make gods now? If I was going to make an excuse for my behavior, I'd say it is just for my own entertainment. If I was going to be completely truthful, I'd say it is out of a vain hope to strike gold, to implant my own piece of truth and reality into another human being. Instead I'll say that we could use it. Not in the way that we need some sense of morals, but I like having things to believe in, and what better to believe in then reality?

I'll go over what brought me to these concepts on another day, but in the meantime, I figure I should look at some of these 'Gods'. I call this digitism (in defiance of Internetology and things with the same name) because of numbers. My main goal has been to align the numbers, things that are inherently true, with other things that we consider reality now in the present (though not necessarily also true). The goal is to avoid directly relating to one culture, gender, people. They should be about our planet in general, in a way that they could be seen in many different ways (and I will give some of my mental pictures as I go I guess). These gods would and do have purviews (things that they relate to, control), but I have to work those out for a lot of them.

0 - Cheating its way to the first slot is 0. The troublesome one. Related to nothingness, oblivion, destruction (though maybe not death). 0 is the first number, but did not come first. 0 adds nothing to the world, 0 always takes away or leaves things as they are, or completely invalidates. As a character, 0 is the jealous sibling, the grand force that puts itself at the head, yet is often overlooked. In appearance, I see very little 'appearance' at all, cloaks of black and white, or possibly melding into whatever surrounding is there (take all or take nothing). Around 0, things decay, fall away.

1 - Originally imagined as the godhead, 1 is still the prime. 1 is the start, the beginning, the alpha. When we have a thing, we have 1, when we have many things, they still came from 1. 1 is truth and 1 is greatness, because when you put something with 1 you gain that same thing back. In character, 1 and 0 are the siblings (though 0-9 are all 'related' in their position), because they are both first. They share this position, but 1 truly holds the position, while 0 holds it on technicality. 1 is of course, the loneliest number, and I see it as proud and arrogant (we are number 1). In appearance 1 should show its pride, but not flaunt it. It does not need to scream that it is the first, everyone knows it, respects it.

2 - The companion. Originally imagined as the wife, it is instead simply the 2nd, the helper, the assistant. It is also the first in line that truly helps things grow, so for that it is the multiplier. While 0 and 1 remain stagnant, 2 creates. Even if something is made up of 0s and 1s, it must have at least 2 numbers there to mean something more. Marriage, dating, sex, conversation, blending, the things that start with at least 2 things, are 2's to control. They are also often things of creation. In character, 2 is warm, often inviting, yet still divided. Unlike the siblings, 2 is less unified, and represents the basic aspect of being divided through subtle hints toward the hostility between two people.

3 - Once there was three, there was a conspiracy. 3 is the outsider, the one that holds things up from outside the spotlight. 3 contains vital things, like Pi, but at once is unwilling to divulge everything. Jealousy is 3's purview, moreso than 0. As is the circle and triangle, important shapes that also give 3 control of math. In character, 3 is a thinker, and a sneak. It knows much more than it lets on, and always has something more to add if it could only be pressed.

5 - The number of (hu)man. Though man is defined by all the first ten in some fashion, man belongs to 5. Our hands and feet that make us industrious are from 5, and so 5 is the number of industry. In character, 5 is devoted to humans (though not necessarily humanity) and other mammals. It is a builder, a factory worker, a crafter. In appearance it looks like the hard work it does, often in work clothes of heavy apron or hardhat.

That's all for now. Some basic ideas I shot up in the last few hours. Though other ideas gained from friends: more digits dilutes divine-ness. So two digits are demigods, and three may simply be supernatural creatures. The digits within a person shows its relation (ex. 10 is the offspring of the siblings). Oh well, later folks.