A work in progress.
It all began two weeks prior as King Chuck, lord of many, toured the halls of his domain. King Chuck was known as a good King, protective of his own, and fair to all those who came to him. For two years he had reigned, yet already his rule was coming to a close.
As he walked the halls, friends and allies around him, a desperate form appeared before him. The young man fell to his knees before Chuck, breath heavy and eyes low. His clothing said he had run far, his body damp and swollen.
“Chuck, something's wrong,” said the boy, “They came and took her.”
The crowd of allies bent themselves in shock, a cloud of gasp filled the small hall to bursting.
“They wouldn't dare,” Chuck said.
The boy bowed his head, “They dare.”
“While she addressed the chess club, Chuck,” the boy said, “We defended her, but they were many. She was surely taken down-”
“No more, I won't hear of it.”
Yet there was much more to come, and all news spoke to the truth. Mary Mcguffin, fair lady of the Nerds, was taken. There was no mistaking this as anything less than a slight against the realms of Nerd, Dork and Dweeb. Across Homer Prep, every King and Queen knew that this meant war, and that King Chuck, Nerd of Nerds, would not stand down until his great lady was returned.
Now they met, Princes and Dukes of Nerd, in the libraries sanctuary.
“Here me now,” Chuck said, many bespectacled eyes watching him intently, “I Chuck, Nerd of Nerds, ask you to join me in this quest. For our very core is under assault.”
“They took Mary!” Shouted the Duke of AV.
“They must pay!” Said the Prince of Chess.
“Yeah, screw those dicks!” Said the Duchess of Anime.
The nerds were in a riot, and glasses fogged with rage. The crowd was silenced by one among them rising. It was the Prince of Drama.
“Shamus,” Chuck said, “You dare speak here?”
Shamus, lord of Drama nerds, bowed to his audience. A smile crossed his face that chilled even Chuck, then he walked to the head of the crowd.
“I speak, oh great Chuck, for the sake of my brothers and sisters here now.”
The crowd grew quiet, eyes narrowed and bodies tensed.
“I ask,” Said Shamus, “Does this Mcguffiin mean so much, that we must all be dragged into your foolhardy conflict?”
Voices erupted yet again. This time in two tones, two groups, the kingdom of obsession shattered as always. Even thrown together in their lot, voices rose from all sides.
“She was a bitch to me.” One said.
“She remembered my name,” said another.
“She didn't come to my birthday.”
“-Her level 80 palladin-”
“Silence,” Chuck said, “Who questions me? Who has read more comics than me? Who thinks they know more star trek quotes than me? Who thinks they know better?”
So, a mock epic using cliqs. I want to change the title to something like Agamemdork: Of the Forais Epic.
"To their dark pit of labor, colusseum of sweat"
I imagine Chuck as a true nerd among nerds. Maybe wearing a cape, and having two pocket protectors. Glasses are also important.